Friday, June 20, 2008

Polyanna shut your trapper... Abe had it right!

I was sent this craigstlist posting by an old coworker (as in I don't work with him anymore... not referencing his age folks) and was truly inspired by it's honesty. To sum it up for those too lazy to click the link: an owner of a cat has realized they are no longer benefiting from the cat/owner relationship and they want to give it away. Instead of posting misleading content like a photo of the cat cooking breakfast, or an exerpt from the Sign Language for Cats book inspired by Mr. Wiskerson himself, the owner tells it like it is.

In today's society we use terms like "prior owned" when referring to a USED late model Datsun and line our check out stands with airbrushed actresses on gossip magazines all in the name of "putting our best foot forward." I think that's why this posting was so refreshing. It makes me wonder how brutal honesty might change my profession if embraced by candidates and employers...

Candidate with the following skills and qualities seeks new opportunity:
- Makes it a point to round down when clocking in and round up when clocking out to the nearest half hour
- Considered forgetful by past employers, and posseses the ability to formulate an excuses at the drop of a hat.
- Habitually steals food out of the common frig, but always leaves one bite left as to not be rude.
- Quick to take credit for other's work. Put me in left-field when Barry Bonds is up to the plate and I'll be the reason he walks back to the dug out. (For those who don't follow baseball Barry Bonds always pulls the ball so the left fielder can pretty much sit down when he comes up to the plate)

Company seeks candidate with the following qualities and skills:
- Willing to take on additional work in the event of layed offs or reorgs with no expectation of salary increase.
- Embraces after hours calls from manager for "special projects."
- Considers the phrase "not in the budget" underutilized and completely satisfying
- Enjoys morning runs to local donut shop and fetching coffee

I might give some serious thought to my brutally honest "strengths and weaknesses" on my commute home in the typical friday parking lot our department of transportation deems a "highway." I am thankful for the opportunity my commute gives me to reflect on the day and just spend some quality time by myself. WHO AM I KIDDING?!?! I am going to leave the sugar coating for my breakfast cereal and call the commute what it is. A slow and painful battle between patience and rage and if I hear that "Bleeding Love" song more than once on the ride home I might just hiss. That reminds me... I've got to see a man about a cat!